reduced and recycled

And that’s how I’m beginning to view the events of the past few years, even the whole of Abdullah Badawi’s first term as Prime Minister. It was Mahathir who engineered Anwar’s downfall and Badawi’s placement as the new No. 2 man in UMNO, and today we are still witnessing the botched-up accusations flung at Anwar again, all from Mahathir’s playbook. I took the opportunity to visit Mahathir’s blog again, and am quite surprised by the number of comments wishing him well.

How did such a man, the man behind Ops Lalang and sodomy charges and accusations of massive mismanagement of Malaysian funds and corporate interests, how did this man gain such a loyal following? It is a mystery that eludes me - I suppose people who still believe in Mahathir are the sort of people who still believe the world is flat, I don’t know. There is fact and there is fiction or fantasy. Once the facts are presented to you, how can you deny them?

So again, the fires have been stoked. Bob’s calling for calm. Everyone’s calling for calm. Some people from some quarters fear another crackdown on Opposition parliament. I, on the other hand, don’t know what to think. I once told a friend of mine how I thought the worst wasn’t over. If the March elections were a bloodless revolution of sorts, I’m waiting (honestly) for the bloody revolution. And no, I don’t have Marxist or socialist leanings in case you government spooks are reading this.

No, what I mean is I think we have all been living under the shadow of an unresolved part of our history. Each day that passes with the covers drawn on the May 13th issue promises another day when sentiments are swept under the carpet. Each day that passes when injustices like Ops Lalang remain obscure, another day passes of simmering tensions tucked away. And each day that passes with BN lording over its demesne, another day dies with the weight of so many unresolved wounds pressing on people who know there could be a better sort of Malaysia.

The aspirations of those who crowded the streets screaming for reformation are like an underlying current of discontent suddenly flaring up on 8th March 08. A move against Anwar, a figurehead or leader - you decide - promises confrontation. I’m sure there are a many people who thought, “I’ve voted, now I can go home to my family, kids and my life”. I wonder, on the other hand, how many people are sitting somewhere in the dark wondering when the opportunity for change - to say little about actual change itself - will come.

Don’t you people feel the weight of history? I echo what Farish Noor once mentioned in a video I saw some time back when he was discussing the challenges of Islamization in Malaysia - he didn’t know if there would be a Malaysia in 50 years. I wonder to. I wonder if it is not better if we all surrendered to unresolved history, if it is not better to be crushed by it and be reborn anew.